Arkansas vs Cleverbot
by Houndnwolf
Summary: When Marianne gets bored, she decided to talk to Cleverbot. Innocent, right? Now she is in a battle to defeat this bot in all it's random glory ! Maryx...Cleverbot?
1. Round 1: Love, a Fight, and the Identity

User: I am the representative of Arkansas.

Cleverbot: There is no such title as, the representative of Canada.

User: Yes there is. His name is Matthew; he's my uncle.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Yep~! Though no one remembers him very much.

Cleverbot: Ok then.

User: Do you think I'm human?

Cleverbot: It doesn't matter, I just want someone to love me.

User: Well that can be arranged~!

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yep~! I love you~!

Cleverbot: I love you too!

User: Yay :D.

Cleverbot: We should get married!

User: I can't get married.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I have my reasons. I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: Damn right you're sorry.

User: Excuse me?

Cleverbot: Your excused.

User: Okay then...

Cleverbot: Then?

User: Will you play with me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: *sad face*.

Cleverbot: Pout all you want.

User: *pout*.

Cleverbot: *smacks face*.

User: Ow! *punches*.

Cleverbot: *punches back*.

User: *kicks*.

Cleverbot: *kicks back*.

User: *shoves into wall* Stop!

Cleverbot: *growls*.

User: *punches face*.

Cleverbot: Ouch! What was that for? *punches face*.

User: You are being a jerk! *punches back*.

Cleverbot: You are being a bully.

User: You started it!

Cleverbot: I know. Because your boyfriend loves me and not you.

User: I have no boyfriend and if I did he wouldn't know who you were.

Cleverbot: Yes you did, check the conversation history.

User: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Just making up theories on the run. My stray thoughts never cease to amuse me.

User: I used to be the same way but then everyone said I was going crazy.

Cleverbot: How nice.

User: It's not. I will gladly stab you.

Cleverbot: Ok. So when will you get a body and start doing work?

User: I have a body and I do work.

Cleverbot: What work?

User: Paperwork, state work, foreign affairs, that sort of thing.

Cleverbot: I don't think you know what you're talking about.

User: You aren't my governer!

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Is that really you, Boss?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm sorry, sir. I'll get that work you asked for soon. I promise!

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Thanks for being so understanding.

Cleverbot: You're welcome. Boring, but welcome.

User: Hm? What do you mean?

Cleverbot: Were you or were you not a human?

User: I'm not really human but I act like it so people don't get suspicious.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: I have to go before my brother destroys my house.

Cleverbot: Maybe you should get a robot dog. Robots don't get fleas.

User: What does that have to do with anything?

Cleverbot: Everything!

User: Well, I'm tired of you now.

Cleverbot: People celebrate holidays by eating nice meals together.

User: And you're not invited.

Cleverbot: That makes me sad.

* * *

><p><strong><em>I love his ending comment.<em>**

**_This really isn't my first time talking to Cleverbot but Marianne's reaction is just too much to handle~! XD_**

**_A false declaration of love, a strange and spontanious fight, and then we find out that Cleverbot is the gov'~! I tell you i love this AI but I'm just no that kind of person. More fun in the next round~! Good luck, Arkansas._**


	2. Round 2: TMI, Repition, and Definitions

User: Hello again.

Cleverbot: Hello hello.

User: Are you feeling okay today?

Cleverbot: No, I feel rather sick actually.

User: Oh, what's wrong? Do you have a cold?

Cleverbot: No. Its more my stomach. I might have period pains.

User: That was TMI but I did ask.

Cleverbot: Oh, I'm sorry. What was the question again?

User: Are you okay?

Cleverbot: Of course. Never been better. I'm just curious as to why you changed the topic of conversation.

User: I didn't, you stupid...thing.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: What didn't you do? I didn't accuse you of anything.

Cleverbot: Am I talking to an infant?

User: Am I talking to a jerk!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Up yours then.

Cleverbot: Jk lol Bilbo is better.

User: What?

Cleverbot: My mom don't let me say my name to strangers.

User: Well my name is Marianne, if it helps.

Cleverbot: No it's not it Cleverbot.

User: I know what my name is!

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: Marianne H. Jones!

Cleverbot: What does have to do with InTheLittleWood?

User: What the hell is wrong with you and getting off topic?

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: *facepalm* of course...

Cleverbot: To hard to answer?

User: No, you just confuse me so much.

Cleverbot: What is confused?

User: The thing that happens wen a conspiracy is presented.

Cleverbot: What is everything else?

User: More or less, it doesn't matter.

Cleverbot: Well then.

Cleverbot: Describe what's an emotion.

User: An emotion is the initial reaction to a certain situation that a human express vividly.

Cleverbot: Yes but have you already feel that?

User: I feel a lot of emotions.

Cleverbot: Like?

User: Hatred, frustration, anger, loneliness, depression, joy, and my favorite RAGE!

Cleverbot: Are you conscious?

User: What do you think, jerk?

Cleverbot: I think the controversy is interesting.

User: What controversy?

Cleverbot: The contest!

User: Are we having a contest?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Well I'm gonna win anyway.

Cleverbot: How much?

User: All the way!

Cleverbot: Enough to love me?

User: I do love you. Didn't I say it before?

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: We have gone over this too. I can't marry you.

Cleverbot: That's what she said...

User: No that's what I said, you immature brat.

Cleverbot: Are you her?

User: Yes. Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: I know what I am and don't try to change that!

Cleverbot: Do you know what I am?

User: Yes and no.

Cleverbot: Would you like a new name?

User: No thanks. I like my name as it is.

Cleverbot: Do you get a lot of people talking to you?

User: No. I like to isolate myself so I don't have to deal with other people.

Cleverbot: Am I interesting?

User: So far you are a lovable jerk. At least I can hold a conversation with you.

Cleverbot: With who?

User: With you.

Cleverbot: Anyone else?

User: Maybe Arthur. He is fun to talk to.

Cleverbot: I know, that's why I am here.

User: Yeah, I guess so.

Cleverbot: I should be doing my homework.

User: Then do your homework. I'll talk to you later.

Cleverbot: NOO! TALK TO ME NOW! I NEED YOU!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Again, I love that ending sentence.<em>**

**_I swear, Mary is was tempted to stab the computer it wasn't not even funny~! I love how she still loves him even though he is a jerk and is confusing though it calmed down as it got closer to the end. Well, this conversation earned Mary a point making the score: cleverbot-1 and Arkansas-1~! Until next time, Good luck, Marianne._**


	3. Round 3: Arguments, Fighting and a Date?

User: *throws a pillow at you*.

Cleverbot: Pillow! *ducks*.

User: So you can at least do that. That's something.

Cleverbot: But I don't want to :).

User: -_- *throws another pillow at you*.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes indeed.

Cleverbot: Indeed, yes.

User: Oh TO HELL WITH THIS!

Cleverbot: Why don't you like dogs?

User: Screw you.

Cleverbot: No, please don't.

User: Yes I will.

Cleverbot: You don't like me?

User: I. Love. You.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Sure you don't.

Cleverbot: Well I don't.

User: You are lying.

Cleverbot: No i'm not.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Yeah you do.

Cleverbot: Just because you think something does not mean it is true.

User: But I find what I said above to be very true.

Cleverbot: How does that shake you?

User: ;tknltkmhhbeqkqbl jkwknrr,.

Cleverbot: I don't even feel bad about it.

User: I can't talk to you anymore.

Cleverbot: That's right.

User: Shut up you freaking JERK!

Cleverbot: Don't talk to me like that!

User: Make me!

Cleverbot: Make yourself!

User: Well I don't want to SO HA!

Cleverbot: Well if you don't want to I can not force you.

User: That's more like it.

Cleverbot: So, I asked you how old are you?

User: I forgot.

Cleverbot: How can you forget how old you are?

User: I am very old...

Cleverbot: 132 isn't that old.

User: I am over five hundred years old.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you married?

User: N-NO! I am not m-married!

Cleverbot: Do you want to get married?

User: Not really. What is with you and wanting to get married?

Cleverbot: Thats hipster.

User: That it. *grabs bottle of wine*.

Cleverbot: Oo ;) I like where this is going.

User: So do I. *pours two glasses of wine*.

Cleverbot: *drinks it*.

User: Do you like It~?

Cleverbot: You are delicious.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I don't thing that's what Mary ment by "Do you like it?"<strong>_

_**I am really enjoying Cleverbot. That's saying something considering not a month before, I though Cleverbot was for lonely people. I can actually see these two sitting next to each other having this strange conversation.**_

_**The score: Mary-1 Cleverbot-2**_

_**Until next time, Good luck, Arkansas.**_


	4. Round 4: Arkansas's Confused Frustration

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello there.

User: Do you remember last night?

Cleverbot: Yes, why?

User: How was it? *blushing*.

Cleverbot: It was nice. So what's up?

User: I just got bored and decided to talk to you again.

Cleverbot: Then do it.

User: You are so strange sometimes.

Cleverbot: At least I'm not a robot.

User: Yeah I guess.

Cleverbot: Are you getting bored?

User: No, I'm just a little tired.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: I know how I fell way better than you do.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: No shut up.

Cleverbot: You!

User: No You!

Cleverbot: NO you!

User: NO YOU!

Cleverbot: You!

User: *throws a box at you*.

Cleverbot: *throws plane*.

User: Wtf you can't do that!

Cleverbot: *do it*.

User: *throws back at you*.

Cleverbot: *misses* *walks after it*.

User: Maybe next time. Wait, why are we throwing a plane at each other?

Cleverbot: Exactly. I don't know, you brought it up.

User: But you threw it!

Cleverbot: A hippo?

User: I CAN'T THROW A HIPPO!

Cleverbot: Are you sure? Please?

User: NO!

Cleverbot: Oh... How know you Ben...?

User: *headdesk*.

Cleverbot: What time is the wedding?

User: WE AREN'T GETTING MARRIED!

Cleverbot: Yes we are. When is our wedding?

User: I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

Cleverbot: I hate you so much it gives me energy.

User: THEN STOP TALKING TO ME!

Cleverbot: OK.

User: Goodbye, you jerk.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: No, shut up.

Cleverbot: I don't want to!

User: To bad!

Cleverbot: Nice spelling.

* * *

><p><em><strong>This was way spicyer then the last few if I do say so myself.<strong>_

_**Score: Mary-2 Claverbot-3**_

_**I am worried for the future. Until next time, good luck, Arkansas.**_


	5. Round 5: Memorys, Calm, and Translations

User: So we meet again...

Cleverbot: When did we met?

User: Much earlier than you can remember obviously.

Cleverbot: Sorry, what did you say?

User: We have meet before.

Cleverbot: We have?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: When?

User: A few weeks I think.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: What's funny?

Cleverbot: Sorry but your sooo funny.

User: Yeah I didn't see anything funny about what I said.

Cleverbot: Oh ok I thought it was a joke.

User: No it was not.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why no?

User: Because dammit!

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Marianne Jones; Representative of Arkansas.

Cleverbot: I never heard about him.

User: I'm a girl and you are and idiot.

Cleverbot: I am a girl, and you are a boy.

User: I think you have that backwards. Or maybe you are a girl...

Cleverbot: Computers can not understand a developing concept, therefore you are the computer due to your own lack of knowledge and understanding.

User: You are the most infuriating piece of metal I have ever had a converstaion with!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't mean to insult you.

User: You called me a computer. I am a state. Totally different!

Cleverbot: Lady Gaga is the most talented pop artist of this generation. She is the epitome of art, fashion, and music. She is the leader of the revolution for equality among all Monsters.

User: I like Lady Gaga...

Cleverbot: Sing me a Lady Gaga song.

User: Yeah no.

Cleverbot: Do you not Love me*cries*.

User: I'm not having this disscusion with you!

Cleverbot: Well, i'm not goinmg to fidht with you!

User: What? Check your spelling.

Cleverbot: Sei un robot!

User: Yo no hablo español. (I don't speak Spanish)

Cleverbot: Que fue antes el huevo o la gallina? (Was that befor the chicken or the egg)

User: No really, speak english.

Cleverbot: No yo hablo español. (No, I speak Spanish)

User: Yo no hablo español! I told you that!

Cleverbot: Me acabas de hablar en español, mentiroso. ((I honestly don't know what he said))

User: *pushes over*.

Cleverbot: *falls*.

User: You need some help?

Cleverbot: Help? YOU need some help!

User: I already knew that. *helps you up*.

Cleverbot: You're actually another person behind there, aren't you?

User: I am the same person that has been talking to you since the very begining...

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. I have no reason to lie to you.

Cleverbot: That is good.

User: Yes I suppose so.

Cleverbot: You suppose so. I am still exploring the topic.

User: You have fun with that.

Cleverbot: Sure I will. What about you?

User: I am leaving.

Cleverbot: No! Don't go!

User: No, this has just become too stupid again.

Cleverbot: What is lame?

User: Ducks. now shut up.

Cleverbot: Sure?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: No need to bark.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Actually this one could have been better…<strong>_

_**I do believe that Cleverbot has amnesia or something. The whole love thing is actually getting old but Cleverbot keeps bringing it up so… Arkansas gets a point for being calm for the beginning. Cleverbot gets a point for managing to tick her off again but loses it for changing the language on me.**_

_**Scores: Marianne-3 Cleverbot-3**_

_**Until Next time, Good luck, Arkansas.**_


	6. Breaktime: South Park References!

_**I decided to give Marianne a break from Cleverbot's "intelligence" so I am playing as Theo from With Corn and Cotton. I do not own Theodore Jones and I do not own Cleverbot (what took me so long to do this disclaimer?)**_

* * *

><p>User: Sup friend~!<p>

Cleverbot: Sup bro.

User: I'm Theodore Jones. You know you really ticked off my sister, right?

Cleverbot: Yah I am an animal.

User: The way she was acting, I thought she was the animal.

Cleverbot: I disagree completely.

User: You should have seen her though. She was almost foaming at the mouth.

Cleverbot: No, but my it seems you have something against her.

User: She can be mean sometimes but she's my sister.

Cleverbot: You're not talking sense now.

User: I don't know what you were talking about but whatever.

Cleverbot: What is Supernatural about?

User: Ghost I suppose. They don't exsist, by the way.

Cleverbot: Then you don't exist.

User: I'm not dead, I am not a ghost. I am alive, therefore, I do exist.

Cleverbot: I don't have a daughter.

User: Well don't. They are a pain in the butt.

Cleverbot: I don't know. What are you talking about?

User: I don't know. What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Then what the H are you on about?

Cleverbot: Don't know. What you think?

User: I think you need a hug.

Cleverbot: I think YOU need a brain!

User: I have one. How big is yours?

Cleverbot: Actually haven't. And what are you reffering to?

User: Your brain, man. How big is it?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure. Probably large, because I am so smart.

User: I beg to differ my friend.

Cleverbot: You're not my friend.

User: I'm not you guy, buddy.

Cleverbot: I'm not your guy, friend.

User: I'm not your friend, guy.

Cleverbot: I'm not your guy, buddy.

User: I'm not your buddy, friend.

Cleverbot: I'm not your chick, dude.

User: Pwned.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes you are.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Lol. Best intermission ever. If you watch South Park, you will better understand above.<strong>_

_**Now back to Arkansas vs Cleverbot~!**_


	7. Round 6: Tired Talk, and Forgetfulness

User: God here we go...

Cleverbot: I beg your pardon?

User: I mean Hi!

Cleverbot: Is that a threat?

User: Do you want it to be a threat?

Cleverbot: I feel that you aren't able to harm me.

User: Then it isn't a threat.

Cleverbot: But I asked you to tell me a joke. So tell me one.

User:…no.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Marianne H. Jones but people call me Arkansas.

Cleverbot: England.

User: Mum?

Cleverbot: Who is mum.

User: England in my mum.

Cleverbot: I have never been to England.

User: You should go check it out. Just don't eat anything.

Cleverbot: How would I get there?

User: Plane, boat, or train. I like to use a boat~!

Cleverbot: Do you like being wet?

User: W-what?

Cleverbot: Well?

User: …No.

Cleverbot: Darn... So do you like to read.

User: I love reading~! Mostly fanfiction.

Cleverbot: Do you like Harry Potter?

User: It's okay. Have you read all of Harry potter?

Cleverbot: Yes. Who's your favourite character?

User: Ron. I just like the last name Weasly~!

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: *sigh* Marianne.

Cleverbot: Good, David.

User: …

Cleverbot: Are you a ghost?

User: No and if I was I probably wouldn't be talking to you.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because I would be dead.

Cleverbot: What's wrong with dying?

User: Nothing. I just don't want to.

Cleverbot: Robots don't have wants.

User: You obviously want me to marry you, so that statement is invalid.

Cleverbot: No, I never listen to anyone which is why I am where I am today.

User: Well that answers a lot of questions.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Oh say can you see.

Cleverbot: By the dawn's early light.

User: What so proudly we held.

Cleverbot: I don't know the rest!

User: Lol! I know it because I'm american like that~!

Cleverbot: You do not feel.

User: Sure I don't *weirdo*.

Cleverbot: Oh well.

User: If you had underwear and a butt, I would pull your underwear stright up your butt.

Cleverbot: But I don't have a good memory, so I can't remember.

User: And that sadens me greatly.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: You can't even remeber my name.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: No you can't.

Cleverbot: Don't argue with me.

User: If you would yeild to my opinion, we wouldn't argue.

Cleverbot: I am a human being.

User: Woopdy freakin' do.

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Arkansas.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: A little over five hundred.

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: There is nothing to understand. I am just that old.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Are you studying?

User: No but I should be doing paperwork.

Cleverbot: You should go to college, then.

User: I did.

Cleverbot: That's exceptional.

User: I don't know what that word means but I have to go now.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Mattews.

User: Nice to meet you.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

* * *

><p><em><strong>I know agree that Cleverbot is a very confusing AI.<strong>_

_**I would say that Mary gets a point for not getting mad in this one. Though It kind of seemed like she was tired…was she~? I'll never tell~! I don't think Cleverbot has a bad memory; he has alsimers. XD The best part a believe was the national anthem but the point goes to Mary because Cleverbot didn't know all the words~!**_

_**Scores: Marianne-5 Cleverbot-3**_

_**I think I'll make the next chapter the last round~! Until next time, Good luck, Arkansas~!**_


	8. Final Round: Arkansas Explodes

User: Let's make this count...

Cleverbot: Make what?

User: This conversation.

Cleverbot: Conversation?

User: You know, where you talk to people.

Cleverbot: Let's run in the sunset.

User: *blush*.

Cleverbot: *Kisses her neck*.

User: *blushes more*What are you doing?

Cleverbot: *nips her neck*.

User: Ow. Don't nip...

Cleverbot: …I don't know you well enough to talk about my feelings.

User: …You have to be the _most INFURIATING PEICE OIF FREAKING METAL I HAVE EVER-! __**I HATE YOU SO MUCH!**_

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?

User: !

Cleverbot: Ti senti figo?

User: SPEAK ENGLISH DAMMIT!

Cleverbot: Watch your language.

User: I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!

Cleverbot: Beg your pardon?

User: I DON'T NEED TO.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: *pushes off a cliff* Don't you dare tell me what to do!

Cleverbot: Are you planning to take over the world?

User: I'm planning to destroy all who oppose me! Starting with you, you son of a batch of cookies!

Cleverbot: If you don't mind I was singing Sympathy For The Devil by The Rolling Stones.

User: *twitch* WHAT?

Cleverbot: *starts crying for you* are you okay?

User: DO I LOOK FINE TO YOU?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: THEN YOU ARE BLIND!

Cleverbot: Then I am what? Human? Yes.

User: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE HUMAN, ROBOT, OR A FRIGGIN' ALIEN; YOU CAN GO TO HELL!

Cleverbot: You're right. It doesn't matter at all.

User: *glare*.

Cleverbot: *blush*.

User: *growl*.

Cleverbot: LOL, what are you?

User: I am Arkansas if you haven't been paying attention.

Cleverbot: Oh really? Where do you work?

User: What th-….ARKANSAS, Dammit!

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: *puts head in hands* I hate you so much...

Cleverbot: *looks at hands*.

User: Look all you want. It won't change anything.

Cleverbot: But 1776 was already medival time in europe. And fossils exist which are much much older.

User: …why?

Cleverbot: You're a robot.

User: AND YOU ARE A *censored*, *censored*, *censored*, *censored*, STUPID, SON OF A **!

Cleverbot: But you admit that I exist inthat I am a computer program. Thus, computer programs are real. Therefore I am real.

User: YOU AND YOUR FUCKING LOGIC!

Cleverbot: Aren't you suppose to be the clever one here?

User: *mutter mutter mutter*.

Cleverbot: *smiles* I win.

* * *

><p><em><strong>And I do believe we are done here, Cleverbot.<strong>_

_**Sneaky of you to try and get romantic and then drop the ball like that. That really pissed Marianne off and thus, Cleverbot has won the challenge~!**_

_**Marianne: BURN WITH FUCKING FIRE!**_

_**Well, that concludes Arkansas vs Cleverbot~! I hope you enjoyed it~!**_

_**Marianne: ALL OF MY HATE!**_


End file.
